Somebody That I Used To Know

I thought I would marry a farmer and live in the country.

Of all my childhood dreams and visions (there is still family teasing about that one time I said when I grew up I wanted to be a coffee cup. I was TWO.) this one still manages to haunt me every once in awhile. There is no real basis for this to have ever come to fruition. I am overwhelmingly suburban in my upbringing and current lifestyle. Beyond some friendly discussions at farmer’s markets I have no idea how I even imagined meeting a farmer. I don’t think there was an agricultural department at my college, so I certainly wasn’t stalking the halls trying for a meet-cute.

Yet the vision persisted well into my 20s. I assumed I would have a bunch of kids and run a neighborhood homeschool arrangement. Who was this girl? I so strongly believe in public education and outside instruction I cannot mesh this idea with any sense of who I am today.  There are so many struggles and risks to farming life, from weather dependence to upfront awareness of where food comes from to all the manure and insects, that present many doubts about this being a successful lifestyle for me. Today looking at it, I know I could handle the anxiety and hard work (hell, I’d even ADORE the excuse to be a hermit and stay on the farm for weeks on end) but the aspect that bothers me most? Well water.

It is time to let the dream perish. I am too old produce a litter of farm hands and I am far too in love with city water put directly into my household pipes by the big, bad government.

Always Say Never

Feeling random tonight

I have always:

• had cable TV
• loved folding warm laundry
• hated anything between my toes
• thought I could be a really great mom
• been a slob and left dirty clothes on the floor
• appreciated my high-quality public education
• felt able to ask my parents for help
• liked baked beans

I have never:

• been able to sing in tune
• ordered a meal other than McNuggets from McDonald’s
• figured out how to use a curling iron
• enjoyed wearing shoes
• been good at paying bills on time
• wanted a white wedding
• collected rent from anyone who lived with me
• been scared to speak in public
• efficiently loaded a dishwasher

Fake Post: The Sick Edition

Way too sick to form coherent thought, but I brought up a new post screen and started typing. Totally counts. I’d make a vlog to share my honking/bark cough with you, but I would have to find a hat to cover my greasy hair and that is just too much work right now.

Cosmos: Yellow Ostrich Release Day

Yellow Ostrich? I’m a big fan. Getting to see them from right on their stage at Lollapalooza in 2012 is one of the highlights of my adult life.

Even the sweltering heat could not crush my joy

Today their third album, Cosmos, is officially released! Company policy on streaming and earbuds could not keep me away from listening to it on repeat in the last week. Sure you could download if you are hip and cool like that, but I prefer to buy my copy from the record store. (oh you know the one) I like the tangible product and holding it directly in my hands while I browse the artwork and liner notes. I’m sure I will also buy a vinyl copy (because I like to hoard) to try and solicit new band member signatures for this album as well. Since I have already started a collection with their previous releases, it would seem dumb to stop now. Plus, glow-in-the-dark t-shirt? Awesome.

I am so excited they are going to be in Milwaukee next month at one of my favorite venues. I bought a whole bunch of tickets and gave them away as Christmas presents. So kids, buy the album, buy your tour tickets. Don’t make Michael sad.

Don’t make Michael cry – he’s a sensitive soul

Company In The Kitchen

Making a giant mess in the kitchen and creating yummy food is one of my favorite pastimes. Having Caryn visit this weekend reminded me how enjoyable it is to have company in the kitchen. It is something I certainly have not mastered in dating over the years either because the fellow is not interested in cooking/helping or because it stresses me out to always feel like I am being bossy. I normally default to requesting company at the table to talk to me while I cook. Caryn and I have been together in the kitchen for 20 years (CRAZY) and know how to work with and around each other so naturally. It is fun to pick out a recipe and just have each other read it and grab responsibility for parts. We can ask for assistance/help/direction and not have it feel like giving orders. This casual collaboration and togetherness always brings up interesting discussion tidbits (or nerdy kitchen news if you will) such as this one on whether to bother removing the sprout often found in garlic or about ways to cut an onion.  The kitchen at my current place is tiny, but it felt intimate and fun to share it with her (also, she has been to culinary school and can effortlessly chop everything. SCORE.)

She is not my only cooking partner in crime and I loved spending my summers with two amazing girls making all sorts of messes treats as they grew up. I am a messy cook to begin with but wow do children really add to that equation. They also provide inspiration and blame for vast amounts of cookie dough indulgence and doubling frosting recipes. This joy has also carried over to another friend Hillary (Hi Hill!) It’s not easy to cook with her in everyday settings given all the distractions at her house, but whenever we can get away together we make some magic happen (grease fires included). I love gathering recipes that fit our overlapping tastes and after seeing this deliciousness, I need to begin plotting to steal her away.

Sunday Video Funday: Shoshanna

It’s no secret that on GIRLS, Shoshanna is my absolute favorite. Not quite a grown up yet, but close. Also the best facial expressions ever. It is a major hardship to date someone that does not find this show the highlight of Sunday evenings. I clearly need to work on my side bun in order to get him to better appreciate this outstanding program. Often accused of being simple minded and ditzy, Shoshanna is truly woman. Hear her roar.

More Than Comfort Food

Such a drastic change in 24 hours. I feel refreshed and happy. Bonding time with Caryn is so precious and we have really made the most of our time together. Lots of fun in the kitchen – one of my favorite comfort meals last night and super yummy cookies this afternoon. It is so much more than that though. Beyond all the fun everyday stories it has been a chance to share the deep stuff too. The hurty stuff and dark fears. No distractions, no bullshitting, just us in our raw states.  It does not happen nearly enough and I am so grateful when it does. Damn, we eat tasty food though too.

OMG pass the milk

Accomplished Rest

So after whining on every online forum and at anyone within a 5 foot radius about how rundown and frazzled I felt and how cheated I felt to be deprived of a snow day (despite twice as much snow so far as last year) and how I worked through a miserable headcold while coworkers took sick days, I took a day. Oh right, personal days. Granted there is no distinction since we went to mass PTO bank, but I kind of forgot about personal days. Not planned vacation fun time, not miserable sick days, just a day.

I wish my brain could have taken a day because it was wide awake and alert at 6:20 this morning, as is always the case when getting out of bed is not required. Grrrrr. Getting out of bed did not happen until past 9:00 but then I needed to get to work. The spare bedroom has been a dumping ground for all things not belonging in there (summer fan, Christmas towels, kitchen overflow,) and my slacking on laundry lately meant the piles have had the opportunity to breed. It seems weird to use a precious day off for such mundane tasks, but after running myself ragged for a couple weeks, it was such a relief to leisurely take care of simple necessities like laundry and grocery shopping.

I even managed to take one of my old TVs in for recycling. No, this does not lessen the TV/DVD/VCR total as I wasn’t even really counting this one. It was the old TV from my bedroom, that was replaced with my Grandma’s better television back in November. So, technically the spare bedroom was housing 2 TVs for a couple months. Plus – I think I have found a home for the spare TV/DVD/VCR that has sat mostly unused since I moved here (cough, almost 3 years ago). If that falls through, I have accepted that it it should go away. Progress, however small, is moving in the right (non-hoarding) direction.

Haven’t Killed It… Yet

I have officially kept it alive for 7 days. I am sure its days are numbered, but for now it is continuing to make me smile every morning while I eat my cereal and procrastinate having to go to work. Even if someone holds a view of cut flowers being impractical, he still manages to come through with something pretty.

Plant o’ mystery

As it was completely unmarked so I have no idea what it is and what kind of environment it prefers (well besides the hothouse I am sure it was grown in). I shall blame lack of instructions (not my complete ineptitude for plant upkeep) for when I kill it sometime next week.

In Need Of A Day

Well 18 days in and I hit my wall. Not that I have run out of things to write about by any means. Hell I have a whole list of ideas sitting right next to me. I am just not feeling any of them. A whole run of crazy work deadlines back-to-back and feeling like ass for more than a week have drained me. I want the weekend and I want it now. I took an ill-advised dinnertime nap yesterday for almost 2 hours and still had no problem falling right asleep at 10. Not good.

This morning I realized I did not have a single deadline in front of me today and there was no motivation to get up whatsoever. I managed to still get to work on time. Mostly. Now sitting in my cubicle and all I can do is fantasize about a vacation day.

My mouth is watering just thinking about that tasty beer.