Monthly Archives: October 2014

There’s Hair Everywhere

I have no idea what to do with my hair. As someone else in my life seems to have very vocal opinions on its length, I have taken that under consideration over the past year partly under an effort to be nice and partly under pure laziness and inability to actually do something about it. He complains often about hair shedding, but I refuse to listen to such things. I shed like crazy and if long twisty hair on every surface is so bothersome, I am more than happy to buzz cut it. (I dream of a world devoid of hair style options, despite knowing I would look hideous showing off my lumpy head.)

I do not have a great track record with hair stylists. For most of my life my hair stylist was my former Sunday school teacher, Mindy. (Also visited by my mother and grandmother, now her daughters work in the salon too – legacy, sunrise/sunset and all that…) She is overpriced, but her willingness and talent at perming my hair gave her lots of leeway. Mindy threatened to never perm my hair again after one in 1997, though I begged for one before a backpacking trip in 2003 and she obliged complete with major eye roll over the un-trendiness that defines my existence. Then in 2006 she contacted me about a free perm if I would sit for longer (beyond the 3+ hrs it normally takes to roll my hair) while she demonstrated on me to other junior stylists in her salon (many of whom had not done a perm since graduation). I was excited for the freebie and to sit for her and be fawned over. The entire salon was disinterested and downright rude, plus Mindy still charged me her insane rate for the pre-perm haircut, which felt like a bait and switch after I took a half-day of vacation to sit for hours. The real breaking point came a few years later when guilt-ed into giving her another chance (via gift certificate from my mom) Mindy cut my hair in the once fashionable wedge shape with it shorter in the back  (ear length) and longer in the front (chin length), despite my insisting that is an un-maintainable style for me (who must have hair off of my face). That wedge only looks good when doused with product, blown out, flat-ironed, and not pinned back – all things I rarely manage. After a couple weeks of stringy, chunky hair tucked behind my ears, I went to a walk-in chain to have it evened out.

A few things about my hair and lazy lifestyle:

  • although I have a lot of hair, it is super fine in texture with minimal volume
  • my hair is neither straight nor curly, more like frizz that turns stringy if you look at it wrong
  • my hair will slip out of braids, buns, and non-friction clips or ties
  • my hair has never been colored or highlighted
  • hair product (#YesAllProduct) makes it immediately look greasy
  • showering at night only works for when I need greasy hair for a formal updo
  • I have never personally blow-dried, curled, or flat-ironed my hair successfully
  • I do not have a standard side or middle part and fail at keeping a part intact for the day
  • I cannot stand hair in my face – it must be pinned back.
  • Ponytails give me headaches

My established looks are to perm my hair – a basic coating of mousse and air dry (lazy person’s dream – just spritz to refresh), french braid my hair (doable but slips out under any sort of exertion), or put half up in a barrette. The last of which has been my standard for 25 years  though I’ve endured constant mother criticism for grade school appearance for it. Last winter I started taking the front forehead section and pinning back with a bobby pin which seemed to fit my requirement for no hair in my eyes while appeasing her with a deviation in style.

Since the breakup with Mindy, I have had my hair cut either from salon gift certificates won somewhere or walk-in chain stores. I had one promising stylist that was convenient, reasonable, and agreeable, so of course she moved away. I aim for getting a haircut 4 times in a year, but it seems to be closer to 2 or 3 lately.  I have no idea how to style hair – I fail at mimicking a blow out at home and this same lack of coordination carries over to curling irons and flat irons as well. Plus I cannot even pretend to not care as I can’t stand it pulled back into a ponytail for more than 20-30 minutes.

I feel hopeless and defeated, but got some inspiration from twitter this afternoon and I may try some new products and velcro rollers. Surely it has to go better than last winter’s experiment with eyeliner that caused a persistent sty for 10 months. Well at least better than my chances of some day winning the lottery and finding someone who can be my personal assistant for vacuuming and blowdrying.


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Bursts of Rage

Call it rage, call it annoyance, sometimes there are just things (stupid, little, non-malicious things) that get me so worked up and make me want to scream. I find the following unacceptable:

  • color paper clips
  • wire hangers
  • when people say what they want/need and expect an unprompted offer of assistance instead of asking for one
  • leaving closet doors open overnight (though I recently got called out on this as I frequently sleep with bedroom door open just fine. Is sleeping with the bedroom door closed a guy thing? a roommate thing?)
  • being left waiting due to an intentional disregard for punctuality (there is a difference between habitual 10 min late personality and selfish/lazy inertia)
  • senior coworkers micro-managing simple tasks
  • cold soup
  • plastic tampon applicators/packaging (total finicky high horse – I will defend tampons themselves until kingdom come, but cannot understand why so much plastic needs to be involved)
  • comfortable leggings being trendy without an equally popular rise in selection of ass-covering tunics
  • hormones – or basically why this post has been brought to you (if it wasn’t blatantly obvious)

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Hey look at that – I finally found a way back into my blog. Now if I could remember what password worked to actually get in here.

Like usual all that is on my mind right now are things that are bothering me and that are too long to tweet about. (I mean other than there are not enough free hours in the day to watch all the TV I would like to watch. I love TV.)

I am a firm believer in leaving an area better than you found it (is that a scouting thing?) and I guess this mentality has sorta pushed into dating. There is a lot of effort involved in getting relationships to work the way both parties want. (I don’t mean to come across as condescending like one fixes another person.) If (ahem, when, in my history) the relationship doesn’t work out then hopefully that effort to ease some of the annoyances will carry over for the next person. I think of it more as mutual improvement in general awareness/consideration of things the other person never thought of (or got called out on) before. There was a specific situation with an ex that used to drive me absolutely bonkers. (Not like toilet seat should always be left down, though that is an issue I have been known to nag about) Anyway, I felt that I was battling against this situation and constantly losing. Now I see information where an example of that formerly rigid situation (one where my request would have been automatically denied) was handled differently. I know I should be happy about this flexibility (for the greater good), but damn it sure still stings that it didn’t work out that way during my time.

Okay this one isn’t so much bothersome as just a strange thing. My guy and I went out to dinner Saturday night and for convenience we had our leftovers combined when they were wrapped up. I joked I was getting bonus leftovers this way (I love leftovers.) It was suggested on Sunday that we eat the leftovers, but I offered a different option and mentioned I would prefer the leftovers for my lunch(es). I brought the large/opaque container of leftovers to work yesterday, but ended up going out for lunch so they sat in the fridge at the office. Today I opened the container and more than half the leftovers were gone. I have no idea whether my boyfriend took out a portion Monday morning for his lunch, or whether one of my coworkers stole them. This could easily be remedied with a quick text, but I’m actually baffled at the thought of coworker eating from our half-eaten food having no idea whose it is. This wasn’t a can of soup or an intact sandwich. Food stealing is very common at my work and is basically acceptable (well as acceptable as stealing can really be) as long as you don’t take the last of something or someone’s only option. For example I have stolen frozen meals and soda, but I know exactly whose I am stealing and (mostly) let that person know I did it. (Also, by stockpiling 2 weeks of their damn food in shared space and taking over the limited fridge/freezer I feel our inconsiderate ways kinda/sorta cancel each other.) Those same people regularly help themselves to my personal snack drawer – as in I will be sitting in my cubicle and they will come and throw their hands right into my box of crackers or open my desk drawer to find a different snack option without asking. This is truly horrifying when typing out but after 15 years feels totally normal. My office is really weird.

UPDATE: Checked in with boyfriend – yep a coworker totally ate my leftovers. He was properly mystified, “But I ATE off of that…”

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