The conversation started because of this photo of a student barfing during a speech competition.
Me: Wow, that is definitely more embarrassing than the time I lost my skirt during a forensics performance.
Him: How do you LOSE your skirt?
Me: Remember those long floral skirts in the 90s (he is unaware of the lingering fashion hoard in my closet) well mine had an elastic waist. One time I was performing and the blocking had me sitting on the floor. When I went to leap up I was standing ON my skirt and it fell to the ground and I tripped. Thank goodness I was wearing underwear. Still, at least I’ve never puked in front of everyone. That’s so sad.
Later that night we were driving and the conversation started back up again.
Him: I still don’t understand how you could have been standing on your skirt.
Me: It was long.
Him: Like a dress?
Me: No, a long skirt.
Him: I’m confused. Isn’t the cutoff for skirts at the knee?
Him: Long is a dress.
Me: Are you kidding me? Do you actually not know what the difference is between a skirt and a dress?
Him: Above the knee is a skirt, below the knee is a dress.
Me: <much laughter, perhaps a bit beer-induced> The defining characteristic between what makes something a dress or skirt has nothing to do with the hemline.
Him: Are you done laughing yet? Are you going to tell me what it is?
Me: How do you not know this?
Perhaps I feel a little bad about writing this all out just to poke fun at him (again) so I will also share that on Friday night I had so much wine I zipped my hair in my coat and started crying. I don’t think that makes us even, but eases the playing field a little.
UPDATE: Goodness gracious it is apparently a FAMILY confusion. Over lunch I was teasing him about this incident and he asked his brother to state the difference between a dress and a skirt. His brother actually answered “length?” I can’t make this up. Thankfully brother’s fiance could commiserate with a shared eyeroll.