Chaos (Muppet) Theory

I still want to do a write-up on my fun weekend in Baltimore, but that will continue to wait. (Most laziness surrounding this delay stems from having to go steal other people’s photos.) Today my mind has instead been filled with this article courtesy of Stef. Why yes, I will click on anything Muppet related. You should too. The main message is that it’s important (VITAL) to strike a balanced ratio of Order vs Chaos types. The most troubling concept for me is not being able to cleanly fit into one of the categories. Wait, does being troubled by that automatically make me an Order Muppet? My defining qualities are so heavily dependent on my relation to those around me. My boyfriend would hands-down define me as Chaos, but I think only in the sense that he is no-questions-asked an Order Muppet. (I am totally the Miss Piggy to his Kermit.) On the other side, my mother is under no uncertainty Chaos and would definitely claim that I am Order (because EVERYONE is Order in comparison.)

On the Chaos side of life:

  • I leave a Tazmanian devil level of destruction in my path – open drawers/cabinets, flung clothes, piled dishes, dirty car. I will (eventually) clean up after myself, but probably not without a judgmental scowl in my direction.
  • I don’t even need rationalization to have ice cream for dinner. It is simply one of the options available.
  • Crumbs in the bed. Yes, I will change the sheets for you.
  • The abundance of intense emotion. On any given day I am a roller coaster of crocodile tears and stabby rage. I do not hide it well. At all.
  • Grover is the coolest.

On the Order side:

  • My spice rack is not alphabetized, but my Penzey’s hoard can be found in a drawer with all of their tops labeled and half-assed organized by usage (generally baking to the left, savory to the right). My DVDs are alphabetized and I cannot comprehend a reason for them not to be. (I will do yours for you as well.)
  • Clothing items in drawers should be folded and organized. Those people who can dump clean underwear or socks into a drawer willy-nilly (oh you guys know who you are) and just grab and go? Not cool. My panties are folded and my socks are paired. As they should be.
  • Some hoarding tendencies. Should this be on the Chaos side? No. My hoarding is logical and reasoned and intended to be prepared for any scenario. Also falls under Order because my hoard(s) are carefully tucked away in a labeled and organized manner.
  • I do not transition well. I try to pretend I am breezy and carefree, but I would like things to be planned and to have awareness of the next step. I am not comfortable living on the fly.

The article addresses the way to determine your Muppet labeling is to look at the one you are paired up with. Uhhh, I have dated both and not really succeeded at either. Is this why my dating life is doomed? Is this one of those life lessons about nothing being black and white and there are levels and exceptions to everything? If so, I object. Muppet Theory should be easy. It’s MUPPETS.


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Filed under Hoarder Life, Of Course This Is About Me This Is My Blog, Wishful Thinking

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