Confusing Girl Clothes

The conversation started because of this photo of a student barfing during a speech competition.

Me: Wow, that is definitely more embarrassing than the time I lost my skirt during a forensics performance.

Him: How do you LOSE your skirt?

Me: Remember those long floral skirts in the 90s (he is unaware of the lingering fashion hoard in my closet) well mine had an elastic waist. One time I was performing and the blocking had me sitting on the floor. When I  went to leap up I was standing ON my skirt and it fell to the ground and I tripped.  Thank goodness I was wearing underwear. Still, at least I’ve never puked in front of everyone. That’s so sad.

Later that night we were driving and the conversation started back up again.

Him: I still don’t understand how you could have been standing on your skirt.

Me: It was long.

Him: Like a dress?

Me: No, a long skirt.

Him: I’m confused. Isn’t the cutoff for skirts at the knee?

Me: What?

Him: Long is a dress.

Me: Are you kidding me? Do you actually not know what the difference is between a skirt and a dress?

Him: Above the knee is a skirt, below the knee is a dress.

Me: <much laughter, perhaps a bit beer-induced> The defining characteristic between what makes something a dress or skirt has nothing to do with the hemline.

Him: Are you done laughing yet? Are you going to tell me what it is?

Me: How do you not know this?

Perhaps I feel a little bad about writing this all out just to poke fun at him (again) so I will also share that on Friday night I had so much wine I zipped my hair in my coat and started crying. I don’t think that makes us even, but eases the playing field a little.

UPDATE: Goodness gracious it is apparently a FAMILY confusion. Over lunch I was teasing him about this incident and he asked his brother to state the difference between a dress and a skirt. His brother actually answered “length?” I can’t make this up. Thankfully brother’s fiance could commiserate with a shared eyeroll.



Filed under Happy Happy Joy Joy, It's The Penis

4 responses to “Confusing Girl Clothes

  1. Our things are confusing for them. Once when a boyfriend and I were making lunch plans, I said I had a haircut that day and I’d meet him afterwards.

    Him: So, we’re having dinner instead?
    Me: ? No. Lunch.
    Him: But you’re getting your hair cut.
    Me: ?? Yes. I’ll. meet. you. after.
    Him: Doesn’t a haircut take a few hours?

    Geez, guy. I’m not Cousin Itt.

  2. Stefanie

    I know our things are confusing to them, but… Skirt vs. dress is not a thing that should be confusing! How… How does he not know this? Don’t test him on tampons vs. other feminine hygiene products, OK? On second thought… maybe do? Could be amusing, if a bit uncomfortable.

    • It was something I never even KNEW could be confusing. To his credit, I think he has the tampon down, but maybe because I refuse to be secretive about such things and leave them out on the counter when appropriate.

Agree? Disagree? Love the attention either way. First time commenters are moderated. I think. Or maybe the blog just eats comments. I haven't really figured this all out yet.

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